Apparently, Dr. Laura is a frequent reader of this blog and was upset that I asked, in my LA Times Festival Of Books Primer, if she was actually a doctor. (That she didn't seem to mind that I was considering approaching Steve Garvey and saying, "I don't know about you, but I think that Dr. Laura is looking like a sweet, sweet piece of conservative fucktardery this weekend. You gonna hit that?" is somewhat curious, but, hell, if Steve Garvey wanted to "hit that" with me, I'd probably have to consider it, too. I mean, he's Steve Garvey, right?) At any rate, Dr. Laura emailed me today saying she thought I was being unkind and misleading for pondering said question and provided me with her full credentials. In the spirit of fair and balanced reporting, here they are:
PhD in Physiology (Medical School) of Columbia University in NYC
Post-Doctoral Certification: Marriage/Family/Child Therapy from USC
License in California: MB14914 Marriage/Family/Child Therapist
Taught psychotherapy techniques and abormal psychology
at Pepperdine for years...also in private practice
32 years of helping people via radio/books, etc. (including 10 NY Times Bestsellers) and columns (NewsMax, etc.)
She has a point. She is a doctor. But I'm thinking I match up pretty well:
BA in English (Creative Writing Emphasis) Cal State Northridge (aka The Columbia University of Nordhoff and Lindley)
MFA (in progress) Bennington College.
Taught creative writing for 8 years in extension writers' programs at UCLA, CSUN and CSUF and the last two years in the MFA program at UC-R's Palm Desert Graduate Center.
Lost on Rock-n-Roll Jeopardy
Recently saw Gwen Stefani at Target
37 years of helping people via books (Fake Liar Cheat taught a lot of people how to dine and ditch, Living Dead Girl taught people how to go crazy at a lakeside home, Simplify taught people that Elvis bleeding on your wall is not okay, The Fix will make you a better American), columns (I once wrote a very good column about selling used socks online), blogs (people need to know when they are acting like fucktards), journalism (I just interviewed a member of Danity Kane...it's a showstopper), criticism (well, apart from the people who send me hate mail when I review them poorly) and through my tireless work self-googling.
Plus, if anyone needs proof that I'd make a damn fine radio personality prepared to help you solve your problems, one need only listen to my appearance on Jonesy's Jukebox to know I drop science like Galileo dropped the orange. (Next week, you'll be able to download it here.) I've always thought that in addition to be an author, I'd make a damn fine life coach or cult leader...but a doctor, clearly, I am not. Dr. Laura? True that.