Baby, It's Cold Outside: A Dateline Investigation

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" isn't just a holiday classic, it's also a horrifying tale of obsession. Keith Morrison investigates: “It seemed like the perfect date. Two people, single, looking for...something...well...something pure, like the snow that fell that December night. Both so...young, so terribly young. Their futures...seemingly...so...bright. She, the daughter of a good family. He...well...what was he? A man without a past. A man without a time. A man, it would turn out, without a conscience. But she wouldn’t know that yet. Not that night. Not that beautiful December night...”

I really can't stay (Baby, it's cold outside)

I've got to go 'way (Baby, it's cold outside)

The evening has been (I've been hopin' that you'd drop in)

So very nice (I'll hold your hand, they're just like ice)

 

My mother will start to worry (Hey beautiful, what's your hurry)

And father will be pacing the floor (Listen to that fireplace roar)

So really, I'd better scurry (Beautiful, please don't hurry)

Well, maybe just a half a drink more (Put some music on while I pour)

["She, just 16, still living at home with mother and father. He, a man, well, not a man, but old enough to be a man. His own home. A fire. A bar, mirrored, in the back of his home. Where had they met? The local mall, of course, where she spent her days working at a clothing store and he, well, he just spent his days. Looking. But, of course, no one would know that then. No one would know anything about this man, about his relationship with the young woman, until cadaver dogs found her body three weeks later, the stench of alcohol still ripe on her skin, the winter air preserving every horrible thing he'd done to her...but...had he? Or had she gotten lost? Had a mountain lion, or a pack of wolves, hungry from the early winter frost, found her?"]

The neighbors might think (Baby, it's bad out there)

Say, what's in this drink (No cabs to be had out there)

I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)

To break this spell (I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

 ["At first, the neighbors thought he was a fine addition to the neighborhood. His collection of women's hats seemed...odd...but then who ever knows about their neighbors anymore? Oh, the world has shrunk, but in some places, privacy still means something, so maybe, at night, they heard...sounds. He was a single man, after all. Young. Handsome. Well...there are some things that just aren't discussed on the manicured front lawns of this quiet hamlet, so, as usual, life went on, even on that fateful December night, when screams echoed down the empty street and into the frozen night."]

 I oughtta say no, no, no sir (You mind if I move in closer)

At least I'm gonna say that I tried (And what's the sense in hurting my pride)

I really can't stay (Oh baby, don't hold out)

Oh, but it's cold outside

 [“What must have that night been like for her? Did she bargain for her life? Did she attempt to make a connection to her attacker? Her friends always said she was a fighter...such spirit...such strength. How much strength would it take to fight for not just her life but...well...her soul?”]

 

I simply must go (It's cold outside)

The answer is no (Baby, it's cold outside)

The welcome has been (So lucky that you dropped in)

So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)

 [“That night, the wind blew stiff from the north, the snow swirled, power...out...the entire city...dark...but what of the darkness that lived just down the street?”]

 My sister will be suspicious (Your lips look delicious)

My brother will be there at the door (I ain't worried about you brother)

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious (That ol' biddy, she ain't gonna bother me)

Well maybe just a cigarette more (You don't need no cigarette, it's smokin' plenty up in here)

 [“What she could never know, would never know, was that her sister and brother were already concerned. Calls, texts, unanswered. Hours gone by. Worry cloaked the small town. Where had that nice, sweet, girl disappeared to? What had happened to her? Or...who...had happened to her? So, that night, armed with little more than a hunch, sister and brother and their wise aunt – a former Detroit cop – took to the streets. What they would find would change not only their lives but...an entire city’s.”]

 I've got to get home (Baby, you'll freeze out there)

Say, lend me a comb (It's up to your knees out there)

You've really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)

Oh, but don't you see (How can you do this thing to me)

 [“Back in the house, that sprawling ranch-style at the edge of town, a house the neighbors would recall as...pleasant...inviting...the kind of house a normal person lives in...the young woman finally realizes that if she wants to live, if she wants to see Christmas, she’ll need to fight. She grabs the only weapon in sight: a comb. What would happen next wouldn’t save her...no...nothing could save her...but that comb, that comb, would reveal something, eventually. She couldn’t know that then, of course, not that night, when it was so, so, cold outside...”]

 

There's bound to be talk tomorrow (Well, think of my lifelong sorrow)

At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died)

I really can't stay (Get over that hold out)

Oh, but baby it's cold outside

 

[“Tomorrow stretched into next week, into next year, into, well, forever. That young girl? She’d be a woman now. A life of her own. But...no. Something was taken from her. Her mother and father, long since dead now, their hopes of ever finding their daughter's killer long since dashed. Her brother and sister? Well, they moved on as best they could. But it was her aunt, her maiden aunt, the ex-Detroit cop, who never stopped looking for answers. And answers would come, eventually, from the strangest place...a comb...”]

 

 

Comments

[Brenna]

I apparently never knew the words to that song. That shit's twisted. As are you, Mr. Goldberg.

:)