Bank of America Would Like Me To Know That I Am One Day Closer To An Indeterminate Date

Me: I was told that my account would be settled by Wednesday and that someone would call. No one has called, so I thought I should call.

Them: I see. Okay. Let me look at your account. I see that on Monday your check was approved and now it's just waiting to get approved.

Me: So, my check has been approved and it's just waiting to get approved?

Them: Yes.

Me: What does that mean?

Them: It shows...

Me: What's "it"? 

Them: The system. 

Me: Okay. Go ahead.

Them: The system shows that on the 17th you received approval for your check to be drawn and now we're just waiting for approval.

Me: Approval for what?

Them: Approval for the check to be sent.

Me: So, just so I understand, on the 17th you received approval to cut me a check and now you're waiting for approval to send the check?

Them: The system says we're just waiting for approval, yes.

Me: I'm sorry. I don't understand. Am I going to get a check sent to me? 

Them: If it's approved, yes.

Me: So it was approved to be drawn, but until it's approved to be sent, it's up in the air?

Them: Yes. You're one step closer.

Me: And when is this going to be resolved?

Them: There's no time table.

Me: Okay, so I understand: On Monday, approval was given to pay me back the money you owe me.

Them: Yes.

Me: And now, we're waiting to find out if there will be approval for you to, uh, mail me the money that I've been approved to receive?

Them: Yes. The Payment Research department needs to approve that. But like I said, you're one step closer. 

Me: One step closer to an indeterminate time when approval may be given to mail me my check.

Them: That's correct. 

Comments

[Jim Winter]

I will never complain about Fifth Third Bank again.

Of course, they fired that idiot who wrote my mortgage, so 18 months later, it's all better now.

[Brenna]

That's some serious red tape.

[Angela]

wow. I wish the outcome would be different if you banked elsewhere but I have a funny feeling complete morons run my bank, too. Chase isn't much better.

[aunt melmel]

I live in Charlotte. There is a reason I refer to them as Skank of America.