You People Are Fucked Up: THE FIX Contest Winners
According to the 30-some replies here and the numerous responses on Facebook and the scads of emails I received in response to my query asking for your special skills, the average visitor to this blog and/or reader of my books is desperately fucked up. Awesome. I've picked three winners:
Royline Williams Fontenelle, who posted on facebook that she is "able to rewind my dreams while I am having them,freeze it, change people in it and change the storyline if i don't like it. I am also everybody in the dream. While i am doing all this i am also taking mental notes to check my dream dictionary about special symbols in my dream. Did I mention that while i am doing all this i am solving mathematical problems, studying for my exams and planning my day. As you can tell, I wake up more tired than when I go to sleep. I am not making this up. I only found out this was abnormal when I started going to counseling and was told that i needed to be checked out because the behavior was not common."
I yearn to have her Tivo-like dream abilities, so she wins!
Eric G admits that "most bodies can convert cheese to (somewhat) solid form... mine makes it liquid (I really should see a doctor)."
Any man who is a human Cheeze Whiz dispenser earns mad respect. Eric G wins!
Andrew, it turns out, is just Hard to Kill (in the Steven Seagal sense) as he admits to being able to "juggle, train dogs and have risen from a coma after 13 days."
We love people who rise from comas, so Andrew wins!
You'll regret this when you have just a little mayonnaise left in the jar, and no one to get it out for you.
Posted by: Graham | July 28, 2008 at 01:31 PM
Apparently blackmail also means nothing? :)
Posted by: Anea | July 28, 2008 at 03:42 PM
Boo hoo, so my wild imagination super power didn't win me the book. :(
Anyway, congrats to the winners!
Posted by: Peter | July 29, 2008 at 02:14 PM
"I yearn to have her Tivo-like dream abilities, so she wins!" - LMAO!!!! Tod, you are awesome, and you've convinced me that I oughta buy a copy of The Fix, how 'bout them apples! Return to the BN forum whenever you wish, primarily to mine us for nutty ideas and generalized tomfoolery. ;-)
Posted by: Philippa Connors | July 31, 2008 at 11:55 PM
I've hacked music production companies before. You're next. :)
Posted by: No one you need to know. | August 07, 2008 at 12:12 AM
Hey Damian, if that's true, email me. I have a hacking question you might be able to answer. Seriously. For the book.
Posted by: Tod Goldberg | August 07, 2008 at 12:18 AM