When I Was A Loser Teaches Kids Good Christian Values...And How To NOT Perform Oral Sex

Apparently there are parents in Rhode Island who don't believe the life lessons imparted in When I Was A Loser are appropriate for their teenage children:

School officials appear to have made amends with parents offended by a short story being read in one of their daughter's classes, a story which they apparently believe is pornographic in nature.
School Superintendent Donna Morelle acknowledged that parents of one student had met with her to discuss their objections to a story their daughter had brought home and indicated had been assigned to her by one of her teachers. According to Morelle, an agreement was reached with the parents last week that she believed had satisfied the parents, whom she said thanked her following their meeting.
"The parents asked that their child not be required to read the assignment," Morelle said. "We agreed that we would propose and alternate reading (assignments)."
Morelle said that she could not identify either the family that had complained or the teacher who had assigned the reading due to confidentiality issues. Members of the family in question could not be reached for comment.
The offending story apparently bears the title of "How to Kill a Boy That Nobody Likes," and can be found in the short story compilation When I was a Loser: True Stories of (Barely) Surviving High School.
The story, which contains profanity and sexual references, tells the story of a high school misfit who discovers how subliminal use of language can be used in marketing campaigns, playing on consumers' subconscious fears and anxieties to manipulate them into doing things that they would not do otherwise. The student, who also serves as the story's narrator, eventually campaigns for a position as a class officer using this knowledge, spurred on by the belief that he has found a way to "kill" - or change beyond recognition - his former unpopular self in the eyes of other students.
"Both the high school principal and myself reviewed the material," Morellesaid. "Because it was not a required piece of reading, we said that we would acknowledge their concerns and provide an alternative piece of reading."

The most fascinating part of this news story is what a shoddy piece of journalism it is -- my favorite bit being "The offending story apparently bears the title of 'How to Kill a Boy That Nobody Likes,'" which implies to me that the writer of the story didn't actually read the story...which is even more apparent since the journalist in question, one Vinaya Saksena, doesn't know the difference between a book of essays and a book of short stories. But the real fire works are in the comments section of this story where the fucktards lose their shit over a story they've never read:

 

Added: Friday October 12, 2007 at 07:51 PM EST

Discipline ALL involved, that would be a first.

My problem here is how was this book, "How to Kill a Boy That Nobody Likes," introduced into any high school classroom? Was it taxpayers $$$ that paid for this or was it a teachers aid that copied this material for the teacher? Did a department head give this teacher the OK to uses this book as a classroom assignment and where the HELL was the new Cumberland High principal when all this was going on? In the real world any person this stupid working for most companies would have been suspended WITHOUT PAY. But in the school system in Cumberland, they call it, “due to confidentiality issues”, we can’t talk about it. OK, this make all of us think, what other issues hasn’t the school department told the community over the years? Looks to me like the Cumberland Teachers Association (CTA) surely runs the school system here about what its membership does or does not do in their classrooms. The “TEACHERS UNION” calls it, “CONFIDENTIALITY,” but these “PARENTS” call it, “NO WAY FOR MY CHILD,” and that’s the way it should be.

Silas Dogood, Cumberland

Added: Thursday October 11, 2007 at 03:17 PM EST

I think...

Bill O'Reiily of FoxNews should here about this....AND THE REST OF THE COUNTRY FOR GOODNESS SAKES !!!!!

I think I will forward him this story........let's see what happens !!

Glen Martino, Woonsocket, RI

Added: Thursday October 11, 2007 at 01:23 PM EST

To: Cumberland Parent Tired of Lies

From: Bravo to Parents:

Your right on !!! I have a 2 year old and one due in February. My wife and I already decided to "sacrafice" a second vacation home so we can proivde our kids with a private education.

I HAD ENOUGH with these liberal tacts and antics. ENOUGH !!

People like us need to speak up ! - it is time that the "SILENT MAJORITY" in the country wake up. the majority of does not want: Gay Marriage, Tollerance towards Muslims and etc......

VOTERS: ARE YOU DUMB!!!!!! ???? PLEASE VOTE.....DO YOU NEED A TEST BEFORE YOU VOTE TO PUT THESE CLOWNS IN OFFICE???

Oh sorry liberal "kennedy loving Rhode Island" - You all take you ques from CNN.

LIBERAL ANTICS - THEY DO NOT WORK IN THE LONG RUN....BECAUSE SOCIETY NEEDS TO PAY FOR IT........Wink wink......shootings in Ohio !!

Caryson, Woonsocket, RI

The story in question, by Will Clarke, of course has nothing to do with murder, is exceptionally funny and well written, isn't anymore salacious than your average locker room conversation and is far less explicit than, say, the essay about me performing oral sex on my high school girlfriend to utter failure within the same book. Isn't it interesting that the people up in arms here -- who seem to have a rather conservative bent -- are sub-literate, prone to all-caps, multi-question marks, exclamation point orgies and seem to think liberals are the cause of shootings, since everyone knows liberal are for lax gun laws...oh...wait...well, anyway, I wonder if Glen Martino was able to get the rest of America to "here" about this.

John McNally, who edited Loser, has submitted an op-ed to the Rhode Island newspaper which has provided such in depth coverage. It's unlikely it will ever run, so I encourage you to visit John's blog, where he's posted his response.

Comments

[Graham]

Bill O'Reiily of FoxNews should here about this... (sic)

As opposed to Bill O'Reilly, that guy who's always on the corner stool at the bar down the street?

I'm a fairly conservative person, but I have no patience with people who lose their shit over stuff like this. I wonder what would have happened if they'd assigned Tod's story.

[Tanya Mravik]

How appropriate that you should post this today. I just bought the book and received it (and started reading it) last night.

OK, so I'm not a teenager (thank goodness!) and therefore have the right to choose my own reading material, but kids are reading far more salacious material on their own. For example, I had the book, "FIFTEEN" by Judy Blume, taken away from me by my 7th grade reading teacher for being innapropriate. That book, for those of you who do not know it, includes a description of a girl losing her virginity. I had been reading racy romance novels (gotten from my grandmother's collection with her knowledge and consent) from the time I was 10 years old.

[Richard Cooper]

Welcome to 1939 Nazi Germany. Please take your favorite offensive books to the street for an after-dinner bonfire. Thank you.

[Ellen]

Wink Wink... those are the scariest comments I have seen all week, and I used to live in Rhode Island so I probably passed some of these people on the street.

[Karen]

Good publicity, though, eh? If only a national organization would come out against it ... I do hope they run McNally's rebuttal.