Children Of Men; Or, Why Does Everyone Love This Movie?

First, if you're planning on seeing Children Of Men, this post might not be for you. It will contain spoilers. It will contain an in-depth discussion of heroes, anti-heroes, the use of shaky cinematography and possible digressions into the body of work of Julianne Moore who, it should be noted, simply cannot act and I can't figure out why people think she can (except in Boogie Nights...she was good in that...and there's also the fact that she sorta reminds me of my Auntie Britt, which is a good thing, but, still, my feeling is she can't really act.)

So. You've been warned.

Wendy and I went and saw Children of Men yesterday and, as we walked out, and as I knew I'd be forbidden from choosing films for about a month, several thoughts crossed my mind:

1. Does the book make sense?

2. Does the book explain why people can't get pregnant?

3. Why do all the critics seem to love this film? (Admittedly, I should have loved it as well as it has all the facets of films and books I like: Anti-hero everyman, a ThunderDome-setting, suave British people, gun play, motorcycle gun play, naked pregnant ladies, people getting hit in the head with heavy objects, an anti-hero who dies at the end, total improbability, immigrant prison camps (oh, no, sorry, that's Michelle Malkin who likes those), that British actor who always plays assholes and played an asshole in The Constant Gardener, too, Clive Owen, anti-Bush rhetoric.)

4. Uhm, what the fuck was going on? I pretty much got lost during the first hour and then was just bored during the second hour. I'm pretty good at movies. I tend to pay attention. I like to think of myself as somewhat literate in these concerns, but for the first 40 minutes I swear I didn't know what the fuck was going on. And by the end, I thought, okay, so, Clive Owen is dead and this boat is about to rescue this girl and her baby and take them...where? And then what happens when they get there? Is it The Others from Lost on that boat? It could be. Hell, it could be fucking the Millionaire and his wife.

5. I like serious films; I do. But do they have to be so message heavy? The Constant Gardener is good example of a Serious Movie where the politics of it all didn't overwhelm the human consequence of it. It was, finally, a story of a man and a woman who loved each other. And AIDS in Africa.

6, What is up with Julianne Moore? Why can't she act? She was really quite good in Boogie Nights, and she does sort of look like an un-Norwegian Auntie Britt in a way, and I guess she was pretty good in The Hours and The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio and I guess I do end up seeing quite a few films that she's in, but, yeah, she just ghostwalked through this one. And then she got shot in the face, so that ruined any chance she might end up having sex with Dirk Diggler in act 4.

7. Clive Owen would have made a pretty good Bond, but I think Daniel Craig ultimately was the right choice. Clive is more Brosnan while Craig is more Connery.

8. Movies with shaky single camera shots sort of make nauseated. I bought one of those WWII games, Medal of Honor I believe it was, and it was sort of the same experience where I just had to keep opening and closing my eyes to keep myself from puking while watching the film. Damn those old Dockers commercials!

9. Michael Caine is always pretty good, even when he's so cliched as to be laughable, as he was in this.

10. The movie did have a good soundtrack, so that's nice.

Comments

[Anea]

oh my god you are right, Julianne Moore does look a like a non-norwegian version of my mom! I had never thought of that before but once I read it I knew you were speaking the truth! :)

[Anea]

oh, and thanks for the warning on the movie.

[ed]

I don't think this is a movie that hinges upon following a narrative, but it's a film that finds its strengths through what one infers within this world. The movie is rich with detail: the way that the purpose of Quietus makes its presence known, the many billboards that tell us about mandatory fertility testing and the reference to something called "the Siege of Seattle," the dawning realization that humanity is on the brink of extinction. It's been a damn long time since any movie has expressed its semiotics through environment like this. I also don't believe it's important to know WHY humanity is infertile, because the movie is less a matter of plot and more a matter of atmosphere.

[David Zarkin]

I disagree; Clive Owen would have been a better Bond with those smoldering eyes, but Craig was OK. Owen wouldn't do Bond. Owen was great in The Closer.

[ed]

I'm actually with Tod on Clive Owen as Bond, although I think Owen would have made a good Bond, had the franchise maintained its course. But to clarify, it's CLOSER, not THE CLOSER.

And if you truly want to see Owen as a badass, check out Mike Hodges' two excellent films, CROUPIER (in particular) and I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD.

[David Zarkin]

I was not amused with "Children" -- boring and confusing and incredibly grim. Hope they redeem themselves with a sequel -- Children of Men Meet the Kids from Beach Party".

[Alex]

Don't forget Julianne Moore's unshaved fire crotch in "Short Cuts."

[Erik]

Quite a good movie.
Quite simple to understand in my opinion.
But then again I did not like boogie nights.
;)

[andrew]

Everything you said you didn't understand was explained in the movie. Perhaps in the last five years you actually watched it again and listened...and then realized that you had to write another bloggie. Updated. In favour of the movie because it's pretty good.