Safe In Heaven Dead

I was stunned to learn that James Doohan -- the inept and saucy fat guy in the red shirt who hung out in the engine room of the starship Enterprise while Shatner bagged all the fly-ass alien hotties and Nimoy went off and did "In Search Of" -- passed away today, primarily because I thought he'd been dead for years. In honor of his passing, I present to you a fanfiction story where he becomes a real life Scotty. As in a dog. Really. And one where he an Uhurha end up getting hitched, but not before Scotty is forced to say some things "haltingly," "unenthusiastically," and with his voice "cracking with dryness."

Comments

[Cap'n Bob]

I was just listening to Howard Stern and his producer related a story about Doohan told by the guy who co-authored his book. Seems Scotty sold photos, autographs, and squares of his Star Trek dress uniform tartan for $150 a pop. The man said Doohan kept about 100 yards of tartan material at home to keep the Trekkies supplied. None of it was ever part of the uniform.

By the away, Tod, thanks for reminding of that wonderful word, fucktard. I find it the perfect epithet when I need to express my road rage. And with the way people drive in Tacoma, Washington, the opportunities are limitless.

[P M Rommel]

Why are you looking in the Pit of Voles for reading matter? Everyone in fandom knows that place is like the worst slush pile in the in-tray of the worst publisher on the planet.

[David J. Montgomery]

As opposed to all of those places where you can find the really good fanfic...

Like WeRFucktards.com.

[tod goldberg]

Ah, well, you know PM, I'm not exactly tuned into the fandom world in a way where I know where to find the good stuff. And besides, the good stuff wouldn't be as funny as Scotty turning into a Scotty.

[Karen Scott]

Do you realise that the phrase "Beam me up Scotty" was never actually used in any of the Star Treks that he appeared in?

[David J. Montgomery]

I believe the first time that Kirk actually uttered those words (and perhaps the only time) was in the 4th movie. It was, of course, tongue-in-cheek.

[Danny Barer]

Tod, Tod, Tod, . . . why be hatin'?

[Mike Barer]

If Mr Doohan could read this, he would give you the finger. Oh wait--he has not finger.

[Mike Barer]

If Mr Doohan could read this, he would give you the finger. Oh wait--he has no finger.

[Mike Barer]

I'm sorry, It took forever to post so I hit post again. Hopefully it was funny the second time.

[Benjamin Rosenbaum]

Shoot, at first I thought *you'd* written fanfiction where Scotty becomes a dog. That would have kicked ass.