Another Nail DeWalted Into The Coffin Of My Youth

An Open Letter To The Musicians I Loved In The 80s and Early 90s,

This is it. Okay? This. Is. It.

I can almost stand it when you sell your songs to computer companies -- I mean, computers are pretty cool, and while they aren't what I'd consider Goth in the most fundamental 1985 sense of the word, I get that today's Goth kids probably spend a lot of time online writing Bauhaus fan fiction (Daniel Ash walks into the darkened vampire infested room and sizes Peter Murphy up with a cautious, yet dangerous, and erotic, air. Is this the man that ruined his life by breaking up the band? Is this the man that forced him into first Tones on Tail and then Love & Rockets? Is this the man who spurned his unholy love? "Bela Lugosi is dead," Ash says scarily, "but my passion for you burns like the anal clap.") and therefore a song by The Cure does make some empirical sense. And I understand, kind of, using The Cult's "She Sells Sanctuary" to move Nissans. Or, I understand it from The Cult's POV, since I suspect the band members are about five minutes away from appearing on "Hit Me Baby One More Time" covering Hoobastank songs.

I almost get Jane's Addiction selling "Mountain Song" for use in a beer ad. It would be more apropos if the song were being used to move clean needles or leather pants or to support the Eric Avery House of Misguided Bass Players, but I understand. (Plus, Dave Navarro stated on his own blog that, well, the band was in debt and when you're in debt you sometimes do things to pay off your debts...like sell your song to some bastion of the Republican party, like, say, Coors.)

And in the most base sense, computers, cars and beer are pretty cool.

Maxwell House Coffee, however, is patently not cool. Well, coffee is pretty cool. I've probably ingested a good three cups already today and am ready for another, but it's good coffee that a multi-national company raped a Third World country for, doubtlessly employing slave labor in the process. Maxwell House is instant coffee made, if I understand correctly, in the back of a Target somewhere in the middle of America.

Which begs the question: Why would seminal ska band Madness sell their song "Our House" to them? That's not actually correct -- Why would Madness sell them their song, let them change the lyrics to "Our house is always good to the last drop," and then allow for the song to be sung by firefighters? Madness! Madness! Madness!

I'm not going to call anyone a sellout here, because I believe most feverishly in commerce. Your art is your job and bully for that. CREAM, as Wu Tang once said. My request then is a simple one: Please only sell your best known songs to products you'd actually purchase and leave the likes of Maxwell House to the Faster Pussycats and Poisons of the world. If Europe wants to sell "The Final Countdown" to a female pregnancy test? Boo-Ya. If Scritti Politti wants to squeeze a few buck outs of "Wood Beez" for a little EndDust scratch? I ain't mad at ya. But if I hear Thelonious Monster moving Triscuits, I'll stroke out.

I understand that my youth is up for prostitution, but at least get with some decent hookers.

Thanks,

Tod

Comments

[Dean]

I had my illusions shattered years ago, when Jagger sold 'Start Me Up' to Gates for a reported 12 megabucks. It was a painful moment. We Stones fans had always had the moral high ground as Beatles tunes were plastered onto everything that moved.

Of course, Jagger (and us diehard Stoners*) got the last laugh. The song contains lyrics that are decidedly counter-commercial.

* Yes, this is a weak sop to my fandom. I'm getting on. Allow me my faint vanities.

[Bill Peschel]

The worst part of this story is that, in many cases, the group has no say in the sale and may not even realize any money from it. It's the song's owner, usually the music publisher or corporation, that controls the secondary rights. The songwriter may get a bit of the royalty for it, but that's it. That wasn't the case with Mick and the boys (and let's face it, Mick wasn't a tough, but a businessman, so of course he'll go for the dosh), but a group like Madness probably didn't even get a handjob out of it.

[Keith]

Yeah, we don't actually know who owns any of those songs. But even if it's the musicians, more power to them.

I like Our House, but the case could be made that Madness had already sold out when they made it. It's not exactly roots ska.

[Allen Holt]

Several years ago, a friend of mine did a lot of booking and promotion work for touring indie bands when they'd come into town. One band who came through, who'd had some decent airplay on college radio, told him that a beer company wanted to use one of those somewhat recognizable songs in a TV commercial. Being indie, they were understandably reluctant to sell the rights to the song.

They eventually gave in, though, when the beer company presented their final offer: "If you don't sell us the rights to your song, we'll hire someone else to write a song that sounds just like it and use that one instead." If you're going to have sell out, at least get paid...otherwise I guess it's more of a "give out."

[Jimmy Beck]

For me, no album title was more prophetic than "The Who Sell Out". I will always remember the first time I saw/heard "Love Reign O'er Me" on a 7-Up commercial (or was it Sprite?) Never mind that the rest of the catalogue's since been pawned off to Madison Ave. Meet the new boss.

[Jim Winter]

The Who never sold out. Pete Townshend asked MUSICIAN back in 88 exactly when they weren't supposed to get corporate sponsors for touring or sell songs for commercials. He didn't remember that clause in any of his contracts or that promise being made.

As for me, I could care less whether they sell songs to Madison Avenue. It changes nothing. Instead of Led Zep prompting uncontrollable urges to buy a Cadillac, I now think of Cadillacs as third-hand muscle cars owned by young males looking for something old to stick an oversized stereo in. It's a case where the song remains the same, but it cheapens the product it's now endorsing.

That's okay with me. I hate Caddies. Lincolns, too. Will never own one.

[james]

hi how are u plz i want to oder some coffin in ur shop can u oder some for me try to reply for me thank u